


Half Life AI But The AI Is... Real.

by moss_mostmagnifique



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Body Horror, COVID-19 mention at first but it goes away once everything else starts going haywire, Gen, Heist, Slice of Life, Someone's going to die but only a little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24180547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moss_mostmagnifique/pseuds/moss_mostmagnifique
Summary: The game ended as expected. For weeks, Gordon was able to live a normal, human life with his son. But then, the AIs show up. In Gordon Freeman's normal, human life. And they aren't the only thing...
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	Half Life AI But The AI Is... Real.

It had been three weeks after he stopped playing Half Life VR when it happened. He’d tried to port up Punch-Out, as soon as he could buy it, but it didn’t work out the first time, so he resigned to try again next week. And then, he decided to try to go downstairs. He still lived in his parents’ home, though they had flown out to visit family as soon as COVID started lookin’ bad, and Gordon, as he had started calling himself when nobody was around, was stuck at home, trying to keep up everything and take care of Joshua.

Gordon had adopted Joshua from his college best friend, Paloma, who couldn’t afford to care for the kid, but wanted him all the same. She used to come over for weeks at a time, but lately she sufficed to video call every day, and drop off gifts when she got one. It was really sweet, watching her cooing at Joshua through the mobile camera he’d thrown together, as Joshua read about dogs or, lately, robots.

“Hey! Old Joshua?” Joshua didn’t quite understand middle names, so when he learned that his momma named him after Gordon, he got cross for days that Gordon “lied” to him, until he decided that he must have a really cool job, like a spy! Or something.

“Yeah, Little Joshua?”

“I’m not! I’m big!”

Gordon snickered, which just made Joshua pout more. “Alright, Strong Young Joshua, what is it?”

“Have you ever met a robot? I have!”

“You mean yo--”

“And I don’t mean mommy. She’s not a robot, she’s just in a robot until the corvid cold leaves us alone. I mean a real one, like the tooth fairy.”

“The… the tooth fairy? You haven’t lost any teeth, Josh. That’s not… that’s not how she works.”

“NO! There’s another tooth fairy! He is a robot, and he gave me a tooth! He says it’s yours!”

This made Gordon pause. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and tried to straighten out the significance of the horrible statement that had just been made. After a few seconds of stunned silence, during which Joshua went back to his task (at the time, he was trying to stack any brick-like object in the downstairs into a “Neat monolith, like the ancient civilizations made!”

Gordon muttered to himself as he walked upstairs. He knew he didn’t want the answer. But he had to see it for himself.

Benry Benry Benry Benry Be-- was at the top of the stairwell, leaning precariously against the railing.

“Hey dude. Did you like my theatrical debut? I tried really hard to kill you. You were really mean to me. You should probably apologize now.”

Benry’s face looked as genuine as it could, for as fake as he looked. He looked better, though. Much better, albeit still somewhat artificial. But he was still kind of a prick, so it was easy for Gordon not to let that get to him.

“Me? You want me to apologize. You bugged me for days!”

“You shoulda-- you should have had your passport, man. Dunno what to tell you.”

Gordon bit back a real argument. Saying something that meant anything would be wasted.

“At least I don’t sound like I’m taking fifty minutes to order at a run-down Mickey Dee’s. So let’s get down to brass tacks. Why are you giving my son my teeth? How did you even get my teeth?”

“I took ‘em out. With my hands.” Benry paused for a long time. “You ever eaten a pomegranate?”

Gordon shuddered. “Please tell me you’re not the only one here? If you are I think I’ll just leave here forever. Go take up a job as a web designer in rural Ukraine, live a good life with my son and my ex…”

“Nah, the old guys and Tommy are around somewhere. I think that Harold has killed five people in real life so far.”

“WHAT? WHO’S HAROLD?”

“Th- the green guy? You don’t know your own friends’ names? Wow. You really suck. You’re a really bad friend, Gordon.”

“WHERE IS DR. COOMER?”

Just as Gordon was convinced he would have a stroke or faint like a goat, a familiarly stilted voice rang out from the kitchen.

“He-- He’s right here, Mr. Freeman! We’re looking for soda! Bubby and Dr. Coomer already got drinks, but I don’t really like most alcohol…”

“Oh. Oh man, Tommy. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you. You of all people…” Gordon practically ran to the kitchen, only pausing to make sure he didn’t run into Sunkist, who, being 2D, might have been difficult to spot before it was too late. Fortunately, Sunkist was right by a consternated-looking Tommy, who was mulling over the contents of the fridge and various cabinets.

“Than-- thanks, Mr. Freeman! I try very hard!”

It was then when Bubby and Dr. Coomer, who were both sipping something from novelty amusement-park cups, noticed him. Coomer threw open his arms in a grand gesture. Bubby shifted his weight and adjusted his glasses.

“Hello, Gordon! It has been so long since we’ve seen you! You look different. Have you gotten surgery? Cosmetic surgery is a strange risk to take, Gordon, especially for someone who already has your facial structure!”

“Hey, Dr. Coomer. And, uh, thanks… Do you know how you guys got here?”

Bubby butted in. “I think that I am dreaming, because I can only use my true form when I’m awake, and I can’t here!”

“You mean when you turn into a car like a Transformer and you didn’t te--”

“Well, Gordon, I cannot tell you about every aspect of my life!”

Gordon pursed his lips. He had missed the Science Team, sure, but he certainly forgot how much energy they required to talk to. And then he noticed.

“Hey. Where did Benry go. Oh man, if he’s trying to convince Josh that the moon landing was fake or someth-”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Gordon!” Coomer called as Gordon turned on his heel and sprinted downstairs, “the moon landing used to be fake, but we replaced it with a real one last year!”

As Gordon raced down the stairs, a voice from downstairs called out to him.

“Hey, man! Your son is a pretty good architect. Boy knows how to build a monolith. You should take monolith lessons from him. You would learn a lot. Bet you can’t even build a good monolith.”

Gordon didn’t know how to respond, but thankfully, Josh did instead.

“Hey! Don’t be mean to him!! He has my name, but he doesn’t tell anyone because he’s a spy! So if you’re mean to him you’re mean to me.” Josh said it smugly, as though he had delivered a devastating argument. And Benry went along with it.

“Oh, really? Aw man, I’m real sorry, Gordon, bro. Shouldn’ta said that, I guess. You could still learn from Joshua here, though. I can, and I’m basically a professional at monoliths.”

A too-loud voice behind Gordon sounded.

“A professional? I seriously doubt that, Benry. I know several experts in the monolithic arts, and I don’t think you would fit in!”

Benry stared blankly, as much behind Bubby as at him.

“Nah. I’m a professional.”

Joshua’s eyes lit up.

“Optimus Prime!”

Bubby bowed formally. “My name is… It’s Bubby, actually. What is Optimus Prime?”

“Mister Benry said that the blue old man was the real Optimus Prime… Maybe he meant someone else.” Josh was crestfallen, but quickly picked back up. “That means that the other man is the boxer! I’ve heard he’s famous!”

Gordon looked over to Benry who gave him a thumbs up and… a wink? Or else he hurt his eye. It was hard to tell. Gordon didn’t know how to react to the second one. He decided not to, and gave a hesitant thumbs up back as Bubby began to brag about how famous Dr. Coomer totally was. The only thing Gordon bothered to register was a “And he was an actor! Not in any big roles, but he had a fan following, let me a-ssure you!” and a few “woah!”s from Josh.

Gordon made sure to give an exasperated sigh before he left earshot. Upstairs, Tommy and Dr. Coomer were discussing… some scientific principle. Gordon wasn’t really that into science, that was Paloma, but he had enough knowledge to know that whatever it was would go way over his head.

Once the conversation reached a pause, Gordon broke in.

“Dr. Coomer, I just realized something. If you’re all here, for one reason or another, how are you going to get back?”

“Oh, that’s simple, Gordon! We can’t.”

Gordon knew he should have been feeling stronger emotions than he was. Positive or negative. But none of it really registered. He decided to put it off.

“That’s… nice! Do you guys need to eat, or am I good just buying food for Joshua and I?”

“Well, Mr. Freeman, even though tha-- that’s probably not your real name, um, I like to eat food! But if you can’t afford it.. I’m probably going to be O-kay!”

“Thanks, Tommy. I bet I can manage something. Dr. Coomer?”

“... Gordon, I’m hungry.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.”

He tossed Dr. Coomer a bag of sliced bread. Gordon hated the texture of the stuff unless he pressed it, and there was barely enough substance to the bread for grilled cheese anyway. Gordon was of the opinion that bread should not be just an edible plate. Dr. Coomer tore into the bag like a hungry coyote. In fact, Coomer was eating more plastic than he was bread… Oh well. It probably couldn’t do him any harm.

“So,” Gordon turned to Tommy, who was trying to add a funky, brightly colored embellishment to a Pepsi-filled ceramic cup, “What’s the plan? I’m stuck in the house for who knows how long, and I don’t know if you can get sick, so the Science Team is stuck here with me.”

“Oh, uh-h, I don’t know! This was more of Dr. Coomer’s idea then mine! I think we’ll have a lot of fun here, though!” Tommy smiled. It looked a bit strange, since he probably didn’t have the facial capacity to smile before recently, but he was getting the hang of it quickly. Gordon smiled back.

“Keep workin on the smile,Tommy. You’re pretty close… I should go check on Benry and Bubby, make sure they haven’t killed Josh yet!” Gordon laughed, but he picked up the pace again as he went. And then went back.

“Hey, can we all come downstairs? I don’t want to keep running back and forth, you know how it goes.”

Tommy nodded, and pulled Dr. Coomer, still tearing into the bread bag, behind him.

“Hey science team. Cool that we’re here. We should rob a bank.”

“Ooh, excellent thinking, Benry! I’ve been a-waiting to rare up the old Boxing Instinct!”

“You-- No. We’re not robbing a bank. Not a real one. If you want to, you can play GTA or something, I’ve got a few titles somewhere, since Paloma likes it…”

“Paloma means ‘dove’ in Spanish! Are you hiding a large, sapient bird in our home, Gordon Freeman?”

“No, and it’s just my home. You’re visiti--”

“You’re kicking us out? We saved your life. I’m your best friend. It’s really horrible of you to do this, man. What kind of example are you setting for Josh? I can’t believe you tried to get us to rob a bank and then you kicked us out.”

“I think robbing a bank is a great activity for a child! Let him stretch his legs, work on his longjump, learn to kill, all of that!”

“We are not teaching my son how to kill. His mother, who is named Paloma, because it is a name, Dr. Coomer, will learn how to kill me if that happens. Are we clear?”

“So is she, li--”

“No, we divorced years back. She’s a lesbian.”

“Divorcing someone because of national origin is abhorrent, Gordon!”

“No-- That’s… That’s not… no, I wouldn’t do that. That’s not what that mean--”

“Wow, that’s really mean Gordon. That’s not really nice. You should apologize. You monster.”

Gordon shook his head and took a sip of whatever it was Bubby was having. It couldn’t have been anything besides alcoholic ketchup. Of course. Tears threatened at Gordon’s eyes as he swallowed and sat down on the stairs. Bubby put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Gordon. I know what a lesbian is because I’m a few mental steps ahead out of the most abrasive losers you’ve ever met.”

Gordon choked back laughter and nodded solemnly. Paloma was going to flip when she met these guys. He’d told her, of course, but she thought he’d been reading creepypasta again and trying to trick her. Gordon cursed his incredibly funny past self for his series of amazing pranks.

“Thanks, Bubby. It means a lot. If it means anything to you, you were always the second worst in my book.”

“Oh, that does mean a lot! I’m flattered…” Gordon searched his face, before coming to the conclusion that he was being genuine.

Gordon sighed again as he buried his face in his hands. There was going to be some adjustment to this. There was going to be so much adjustment to this.


End file.
